Resolutions vs Revelations
At this point we are one month into 2019, which means most of us have probably already failed at at least one of our resolutions for the new year. Personally, I hate resolutions so much that I generally don’t make them. I feel like they set you up for failure but in reality I think it’s my outlook on that potential resolution that’s the true issue.
For example, the resolutions that come to mind are usually unattainable or so stressful they aren’t worth the hassle. Or they aren’t easily measurable so you never feel like you make any progress. Or, you give yourself so many resolutions that you are completely overwhelmed. Or worst yet, we often make resolutions that we have no control over.
“I’m going to lose 100 pounds this year.”
Why not start with a smaller piece of the puzzle? Maybe you do need to lose 100 pounds but that’s overwhelming. Give yourself an attainable goal so you know you can be successful. Lose 20 pounds. Look how successful you are so you should keep going!
“I’m giving up Starbucks completely. I’ll never drink Satan’s syrup again!”
Maybe Starbucks is your crutch. Maybe the sugary goodness gives jitters but it can get you through that long, boring meeting with your boss and you’re right, the nutrition facts aren’t great, but sometimes you just need a little something. Give up that crutch for the most part but if you have a rough night or a super early morning and you need a little boost, don’t beat yourself up over it! Meg always says life is 80/20, which is so true. It’s okay to treat yourself because, to be frank, what’s the point of the great body if you never have fun. Life is all about moderation just don’t get those percentages backwards!
“I’m going to read more this year.”
How much more? How do you know you’ve succeeded? Set yourself a goal that you can actually measure. “I’m going to read 20 books this year.”Now, you know what you are working towards.
Vague goals give us a lot of wiggle room to just not follow through. There’s something to be said for a deadline. Lord knows I’ve always worked better under pressure and if I have a goal that I’m trying to obtain I’m far more likely to push myself. Give yourself something definite to work towards.
“I’m going to lose weight, reorganize all my closets, pay off my credit card, go on a road trip, renovate the kitchen and never leave a dirty dish in the sink. New year, new me!”
Bless it! I get the excitement of a new year with unlimited possibilities but even the good Lord took creation one task at a time. We have the tendency to get overwhelmed by how much we haven’t done that we give up on it all. Let’s be honest, if we could spend everyday just focused on our resolutions we could probably be quite successful but we have actual lives. We have jobs and families and projects that require our attention. Don’t discourage yourself by making your success impossible.
“I’m going to have a new job this year.”
You might be successful in your job search but what if the economy is bad? Are you in an unusual job field? What if this isn’t part of God’s timing? This type of resolution is one that is very difficult for me because this is where my greatest desires lie...in the things I can’t control. I totally resonated with Charlotte of Sex in the City when she announced, “After careful consideration, I have decided that this is the year I am getting married.” I get being determined to make that big life change but I also know that television rarely reflects reality. She was single at the time of her proclamation and conveniently got married several episodes later. Must be nice!
So many of the things we want to change in a new year are things that you just can’t force and if we can force them it’s with disastrous consequences. Don’t break your own heart by demanding something of yourself that you can’t provide! Don’t make a resolution to have a baby this year because you do not have the ultimate say so. Make a resolution to begin trying or to see a fertility specialist. Those are obtainable and put you on the path to your ultimate goal but don’t give yourself ridiculous expectations. If you want a husband resolve to online date or take up a new hobby and meet people but don’t put pressure on yourself that leads you to make stupid decisions. Don’t give yourself expectations that will have you taking your future out of the hand of God. Remember what happened when Sarah and Abraham did that!
I am so much of a “DOer” that I make lists just to feel like I am actively working toward a goal but there are some goals that simply won’t work without the good Lord’s intervention. We know this cognitively but we still think, “This is gonna be the year!” and when it turns out that it’s not the year we beat ourselves up. Trust me. I am thankful that all the times I thought “This is going to be the year I find the one.” that it wasn’t. The Lord’s timing is perfect and while you can work outside of his plan, do you really want that? Think about it ladies. If you really wanted to be in a relationship, couldn’t you be? But at what cost? Give yourself the tools and experiences that can lead to those dreams but don’t make it so concrete that you stick yourself in a bad situation.
In the end, I realized that what we need is REVELATIONS not RESOLUTIONS. Change only comes when you see the truth of your situation. You are never going to meet your weight loss goal until you stop doing it for the sexy dress and start doing it for the healthy heart. No relationship will make you content until you find your contentment in Christ and are happy with who you are as an individual. Why do you want to read more? Is it some daily task to check off because you think you should or are you using it as a way to learn or for some quality personal time?
Give yourself a true reason to attempt your goals (and a little grace along the way) and you can’t help but be successful!