ReVisited: Worth the Wait

Oh, young Bailey… oh, sweet, precious child! If only you knew what the next five years would hold for you when you wrote this post you would have been terrified, in all honesty. I wrote this originally in January of 2020. Before the world stopped as a whole. Before I faced some long-term physical challenges and before I had my world and perspective shifted by new relationships. I thought I knew what waiting looked like but the reality was I had just begun walking into a season of isolation, preparation, frustration and ultimately, restoration that, had I known, I’d have probably run for the hills. 

Looking back on my thoughts from this time, I can see how the Father had already laid out a foundation for me to grow in my understanding of waiting seasons and grow in my relationship with Him by leaps and bounds. Overall, I still agree with my thoughts on waiting but I think the roots go deeper now. 

Truth #1: God said to wait, not stop. 

Yep, still true but man, has this become a hard lesson built on reality. When I originally wrote this I wanted to stop out of frustration. To dig my heels in until I got my way but five years later I have lived this truth out when I didn’t think I could take another step out of exhaustion or heartache or fear. I’ve learned to lean (and sometimes collapse) into the Father when His next step is forward and I just don’t see how that’s possible. 

Truth #2: Let it go. 

Letting go has never been easy for me and little did I dream in 2020, that I’d eventually be asked to let go of something incredibly dear to me… the most beautiful of answered prayers in my opinion but that I was. However, unlike the me of 2020 who still struggled with asking God to take things away that weren’t of Him for fear He would, I have grown to crave that clarity. Oh, Father if this isn’t from You remove it from my life, make me restless, redirect my feet, do whatever is necessary to point me to Your good things and not my fleshly desires. Does that change the way I emotionally feel? Nope, it stinks at times and I have told Him that but He’s not shocked or dissuaded by my honesty. I find peace in knowing that the Father will deal honestly and swiftly with my requests for wisdom and that is a faith testament that has grown since 2020 when I would have preferred not to know in some cases. 

Truth #3: Keep Asking

This one has only changed in becoming bolder! Keep asking, keep praying, keep seeking! Prayer is meant to be active. You can bring your requests to God all you want. You can pour out your heart and emotions to your loving Father whenever you need to do it. Being bold and certain in your prayers will revolutionize how you approach every other area of your life. When you know God is listening to you, you can have confidence in His plans, purposes and directions. Keep asking!

Truth #4: Expect great things…

After four years of attending William Carey College/University I had his famous line, “Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God” tattooed on my brain. It was part of our stationary and logos and programs at Chapel. I liked his idea but I didn’t grasp the full meaning of it even in 2020 though I definitely see the beginnings of a move towards wanting Biblical Expectation. I truly learned the discipline of expectation in God during 2023 which you will be able to read about in a few months with my “Life Verses” series but even now it’s an area where I need reminders. When things seem impossible or I can’t see a logical way out, I have to remember where my expectations lie. I often see myself standing at the Red Sea, Egyptian pursuers behind me and no way forwards. How did that story end? Not logically, I’ll tell you that! And so it has been with me on a number of occasions. Yes, the Lord can work through the mundane and it’s amazing when He does but He often likes to “show up and show out” as we say on Hey Y’all. Five years on from this post and I expect it. 

Truth #5: If not…

Ah, the hardest truth in our waiting. The moments of “nots” and “nos”. It’s easy to read Sarah’s story or Hannah’s or Rachel’s with hope and expectation because we know their waiting eventually comes to their desires but what if it doesn’t? What if Hannah had never had Samuel? What if the cancer battle doesn’t end on this side of heaven? What if a husband never arrives? What then? 

I love the translation of Daniel 3:18 that says, “If not, then He is still good”. That’s my response to all my “What ifs?” when life seems to have other outcomes. Can I really believe in God’s goodness and love if He would allow me to wait and desire for things I’ve asked Him to take away knowing that they were never going to arrive? Yes, because He is still good. I don’t get it and it doesn’t feel good but He is good, regardless. This is one of those times that my emotions and my cognitive abilities clash because they don’t have to agree for this truth to still be a reality in my life. I know I can’t see the whole picture. I know I can’t understand His master weaving. I know I don’t have to think it feels like sunshine and rainbows to believe He is still right. 

Funny, how I thought I had grown so wise in 2020 with all my understanding about waiting but the Lord had only begun to grow me and you know what? I’m incredibly thankful for the waiting seasons of the last five years. I can look back and see preparation for answered prayers, blessings for unexpected trials, growth for confidence needed and restoration beyond compare. Waiting used to be a dirty word to me and while it’s still not my favorite, I have come to appreciate the bounty it can hold.