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ReVisited: Resolutions vs Revelations

Nearly a year ago I did a blog post on why I hated New Year’s resolutions and how I thought they set us up for failure. I then promptly made some New Year’s resolutions so there’s that. I guess I realized that there were several things I wanted to complete this year that I knew I would find excuses for if I didn’t have a timeline. I also tried my best to stick to my belief that your resolutions should be more like revelations. Meaning these goals should be for your betterment overall and they should be attainable, measurable and in your control. I did pretty well making a short list that met these requirements, however, as you’ll see I wasn’t perfect.

Here are the New Year’s resolutions I made for 2019:

1. I wanted to get below a certain weight.

I had been half heartedly eating healthy and working out but was making excuses more than necessary and I was definitely living closer to a 20/80 lifestyle than an 80/20 one. I am currently under my goal weight for December of 2019 which proves to me how far I could be had I gotten serious earlier. Beyond looking better in my clothes I have more energy and feel better about myself overall. This is the first time I tried to get healthy for ME rather than to please someone else and that made all the difference.

2. I wanted to read 20 NEW books this year.

I know 20 is nothing and I’ve easily done that in the past but I’m real bad about rereading my favorites and have become increasingly preoccupied with my phone. This challenge forced me to find new books to read even when I didn’t want to and to find new authors that I haven’t enjoyed before. To ensure that I actually followed through I used this blog as accountability and actually completed more than 20 books. Bless you if you have read my random book reviews throughout the last year. I know some of you even went out and purchased said books so that’s pretty cool.

3. I wanted to be more active with the blog.

Meg and I began this blog several years ago as an outlet for our lives and because we were hard pressed to find Christian, single, 30 somethings that we could relate to in our everyday lives. We also had some fun adventures and thought this would be a great way to document those moments. Now people are actually reading this blog regularly and I don’t just mean our mothers. We have family, friends, coworkers, students and random people who are gracious enough to lend an ear to our thoughts and it makes my heart so happy!

I have always enjoyed writing out my thoughts and musings but I never imagined having them read outside of a classroom assignment but now it brings me joy. I have also found that this process has stretched me as a person. It requires me to be creative even when I don’t feel like writing and it has made me a little braver with my vulnerability. As I said last year, your resolutions should be measurable so I can officially say in 2017 I posted 9 times and in 2018 I posted 12. As of today, I have posted 39 times in 2019 with a few more to come. I call that a success!

4. Finally, my last resolution was the one I messed up on because I set a goal that in a lot of ways I didn’t have control over. That goal was to go on a date.

I know what you’re thinking...Wow, this chick hasn’t been on a date in a year! Well, guess what? I haven’t been on a date in well over a year! So HA!!!

When I made this half-hearted resolution last year I literally thought, “I just want to go on another terrible date so I can check that off my list and my ‘dating drought’ will be broken for the evening”. What I could NEVER have known was that 2019 was going to be a year full of introspection and revelations from the Lord. A year of true growth and understanding that would change how I saw myself and how I viewed others. It wasn’t until I looked back on my blog posts from this year that I truly saw the journey I’ve been on. Let’s take a look...

In my “Less Bitter, More Glitter” post from January, I confessed that the Lord had recently gotten a hold of me through some interactions with the very attractive Mr. X. The Lord opened my eyes to what a hot mess I had become simply because life had not worked out as I planned. I jokingly said that if Mr. X wanted a girlfriend I was available but here’s the thing being aware that you’re a hot mess is a whole lot different than actually fixing your messiness, which takes time. Even if Mr. X had asked me out I was in no way ready mentally, physically or emotionally to undertake that. He would have just been another bad date for the books. I still see him all the time but now I don’t pout and think, “Why can’t I have someone like that?” but rather I’m thankful that the Lord snatched me up and set me straight so that in His time I could be worthy of a fulfilling relationship. Little did I know that these tiny interactions were the start of a year long journey.

In February, Valentine’s Day to be exact, I made the confession in “Medusa” that I often struggle to be confident around attractive men and that I didn’t exactly understand why. Little did I know that in July I was going to go on a girls trip in which we had a nice little heart to heart about my hang ups and the Enneagram which I posted about in July’s “Road Back to You” and “2w1”. It’s amazing how the Lord is always setting the stage for your next big moments.

In my April post “Let It Go” I finally recognized how often I try to take the control of my life out of the hands of my Father and how true happiness comes when you let go of what you think your life should be and learn to live out your true purpose. Does this mean I’m 110% on board with the Lord’s plan and never question or screw things up? Of course not but it does mean that I live with fewer regrets about the past and less anxiety about the future.

In August I tried to really evaluate what it meant to be a Proverbs 31 woman. After all that is kind of where this whole thing started with me… realizing that to be deserving of a godly, upheld man I could not be a hot mess but what did that really mean? I did a series of post unpacking how I thought this woman became so iconic and how she is still applicable today. By the end of my time with Mrs. P31 I realized that I needed to fix my mess for me and me alone which I’ve always known but have not always found motivating.

I finished the fall and moved into the winter with musings on chasing perfection, the little moments of life and a few exercises that took me out of my comfort zone (some you’ve yet to hear). I can truly say this year has been one of great personal discovery and adventure. I’m glad I didn’t have a date this year because I want my next date to be intentional and filled with joy and expectation rather than a means to an end. Besides, I now realize how much I’ve missed and how much I’ve gotten wrong in regards to love, life, dating and my worth. This change in perspective has brought with it contentment and ultimately a healthier view of dating and myself.

Looking back, 2019 really was a successful year in the big and the small things. I am so grateful for all the wonderful moments that have occurred this year and how much change has been brought about in such a short time. I hope to always have these seasons of personal growth that allow me to mature as a person and grow in my walk with the Lord. Thank you for being a part of my journey for the last twelve months and I look forward to what 2020 has in store!

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