"Converse"ations with Meg
How Long Does It Take?
How long does it take to really learn yourself? I mean, I am 36, and I feel like I have learned more about myself, and who I am in the past year than I did the 35 years prior to me being around. It sounds funny and ridiculous, but it is true! Bailey and I, and a few of our other friends, have really been challenging each other to get to know ourselves and to get out of our comfort zones a little bit. I think as we get older, it is easier to stretch our comfort zones, but I also think it takes learning who we are and being ok with who we are to really step outside of what makes us comfortable. I think a lot of learning about ourselves has to bring us to being content and ok with what we learn, even though others around you may not be. Maybe by societies standards, you are overweight, but you are healthy, happy, and content, that’s ok. Maybe you are crazy unorganized and it drives others crazy, but it works for you, don’t apologize for it, be ok with it! See, I think learning and being comfortable with ourselves makes us braver and willing to accept things. Let me give you some Meg examples.
I have learned, and accepted, being alone is ok, in fact, I pretty much thrive in it! Do not get me wrong, I love my friends, I love my family, I love being on the go and being busy, but I very much love and crave being home and alone. When I have a free weekend, I do not want to go anywhere, I want to be at my house, with my dog, doing nothing. I am not sad about it, so do not feel sorry for me, I am just happy as can be all alone. To be honest, I sometimes get a little anxiety or uncomfortable when I am with a lot of people for long periods of time, it is hard for me. I get it is not hard for other people, and some would choose to NEVER be alone if possible, but that is not me! When I can’t go after a day or two and just get away to decompress, I become withdrawn. What makes it worse is when people say “why are you so grouchy” or “you act like you don’t even want to be here” it really isn’t that, and chances are I love the people who are around, but I have just had to much. It is hard to explain, but I thrive and need time to myself. For me, it has nothing to do with not wanting to be around those I love, it has to do with me needing time to decompress.
Another thing I have learned to be ok with about myself is my weight. I am very happy and content with how I look and more importantly, how I feel. By societies standards, I am still overweight. But I work out multiple times a week, and watch what I eat with an 80/20 lifestyle. I would venture to say I am healthier than some of my “skinny” friends because of how I choose treat my body. I finally feel comfortable in my skin, and comfortable with my health journey. Now, that does not mean I won’t continue to work on myself, but it feels nice to feel content with my body and the choices that I am making. I am confident standing in front of a group of ladies leading them in workouts and content when I put clothes on and look at myself in the mirror. My body feels good because I feed it well and really, that is all I can hope for! Being skinny isn’t my ultimate goal anymore, being content has been.
Learning about yourself takes some examination which is hard, and can take some growing which is uncomfortable. Being ok with certain parts of yourself and being willing to not apologize can be hard when you feel pressured by those around you but you know what, its ok to be you and feel the way YOU feel. Nobody needs to validate your feelings, and nobody needs to validate who you are. You are enough, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, even the quirky parts!