Find Your Fit
If you know me in real life you will know that in the last year and a half I have lost about seventy pounds or so. If you only follow me on social media then you have no clue outside of a picture or two looking different because I NEVER post about my journey or my progress for several reasons. One, I’m not a huge poster of personal and intimate details of my life. That may seem weird with the nature of this blog but the atmosphere here is different. I have gone YEARSSSS with the same Facebook profile picture without one thought of changing it. Two, I’m afraid of failure and embarrassing myself. I applaud people who are transparent about their struggles and the journey they go on but I couldn’t stand the pressure of feeling like I was under a microscope. I know there are tons of people out there waiting to cheer you on but there are also tons of people waiting for you to fail. I know myself well enough to know I would only be concerned with the Negative Nancys. Finally, three, I don’t like how vulnerable it makes me feel. Like, I somehow have strangely thought that if I didn’t bring up my weight loss it wouldn’t draw attention to the fact that I was fat because obviously no one could look at me and tell.
I have never viewed this weight loss journey as a success story but rather the proof that I was a failure up until this point. (That is some warped thinking but we will get to that.) So, I’ve always felt ashamed to talk about it. People have been nothing but kind to me and yet I still want to crawl into a hole because of judgement I feel. All of that being said, this struggle is not new so what changed this time? Truthfully, the process, mentality and support system. I’m not here to tell you what diet to use or what workout plan to try because everyone is different and what works for me may not work for you but I CAN tell you that if you don’t fix the inside it won’t matter what happens on the outside.
This last year has been one heck of a journey for me personally. Yes, the weight loss has been great and a big component but the Lord has provided so many lessons along the way that made this a life change. Let me lay some of those lessons out…
Find a Team
I am fortunate enough to have several close friends that are also on a journey to get healthier...physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s so nice to know you aren’t facing something alone and to have that accountability and camaraderie. This is a group of women with which I can be raw, vulnerable and real. I know they won’t judge me but they also won’t coddle me. They have called me out on more than one occasion and have dealt me some tough love but that’s what we all need at times. The success of this last year would have been impossible without them so shout out to my squad! Y’all are so freaking awesome!
You need to truly find where you fit in so you feel comfortable and ready to tackle the future. I live in a town with some pretty amazing gyms but I know that if my only option was to workout with former military and women who look like Victoria's Secret models I just wouldn’t do it. I feel comfortable in my gym and with the people in my class. None of us ladies are aiming for a magazine cover, we all love tacos more than we care to admit and we complain a lot during class but that’s why we enjoy it. I know some of you would prefer to workout surrounded by buff men and women that will push your limits and challenge you. This would intimidate the crap out of me but some find it engaging. I, personally, would just stand around mesmerized and terrified by everyone but that’s me. Find what works for you!
Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body
We all have hang ups and unresolved issues that can affect our minds and bodies more than you would imagine. You have got to figure out how to deal with those so you can be healthy and happy in the long run. Sometimes that is accepting that you can’t change the past. Sometimes it is forgiving someone. Sometimes it is letting go of cruel words and actions and accepting that they don’t represent the truth of who you are. Whatever the case, if you don’t deal with the underlying issues no amount of energy put into getting your life together will truly fix your problems but will just be a bandage on a gaping wound.
Ask the Lord to show you where your true struggles lie and how to handle them in a healthy way. I pray that you have friends and mentors in your life that can be frank with you about the unhealthy habits they see in your life. Once again, shout out to my squad, because yes, they will knock a taco out of my hand if necessary but they will also sit me down and point out the demons I’m entertaining. Sometimes we are so busy swimming in our mess that we can’t even see it.
So, whether it’s addiction, heartache, self-hate or confidence, you need to get healthy from the inside out because that is the only way to make the change permanent. Break the cycle!
Understand Your Value
You have value. You were created by a loving Father God who literally looked at the world and thought it needed a you so why do you belittle yourself? Why do you listen to what the world says about you? Turns out finding someone sexy or smart or creative or interesting is completely subjective and so much of the way people view you is based on what you accept from them. Someone wisely said, “You’ll be amazed what you attract after you start believing in what you deserve.” Just remember, when Fred Astaire initially did his screen test in Hollywood the only comment the director had was, “Can’t act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.” The man has more acting and dancing awards than you can shake a stick at and yet this director didn’t think he was worth much. Did that make it true? NO! Don’t be your own worst critic. Remember that you are worth the work and the change. You are important!
Learn to Wait
Love doesn’t come overnight. Weight loss doesn’t come overnight. Life change doesn’t come overnight. If you are wanting something that is going to be real and going to last you are going to have to accept that waiting will be part of that process. Waiting is not always fun but in the end it is always necessary. So often we throw the towel in because change isn’t happening as quickly as we want but don’t rush something you want to last forever. I don’t care if that is finding a husband, losing thirty pounds or pulling your life together. Quick fixes don’t work and if it seems too good to be true it probably is just that. Often you will find that the Lord has something He is wanting you to learn during the waiting that will prepare you for what you’re wanting. Trust Him and His timing!
This is one of the BIGGEST lessons I’ve learned in the last twelve months. Waiting doesn’t have to feel like “wasted” time and it doesn’t mean no but it does require faith and patience. If you feel like you are stuck and not much is changing, look around and try to discover what you are supposed to be learning. What opportunities for growth do you have access to that you might not have considered? If you’ve got to wait, you might as well make the time useful. Many of my best moments of growth in 2019 came unexpectedly in the waiting...the waiting that I was bemoaning twelve months ago and yet now those were the monumental times. Trust the process because you can’t see all of your steps.
Life Change Can’t Come Without the True Source of Life
If you want real, undeniable, overwhelming life change then you better start talking to the Life Giver. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.” This is the only way you can truly succeed at life and the only way your life will be considered a success. The Father wants you to be a success but that may not always look how you think it should but He is a good Father and gives wisdom and grace in abundance. If you’re struggling... talk to Him. If you’re lonely... talk to Him. If you’re overjoyed... talk to Him. If you’re searching... talk to Him. If you’re scared... talk to Him. There is nothing in your life that is outside the care and control of the Lord so place everything, good and bad, before Him and wait expectantly. As the great William Carey said, “Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.” You can expectantly come to the Lord and believe that He loves you and want what’s best for you.
In the end, you have to “Find Your Fit” as my shirt says. You really have to figure out what YOU need and what is healthy for you. For many women that means letting go of some beauty standard you have in your mind or that you feel pressured to pursue. I had to accept that I will never be a size two with a beautiful, glowing tan and a gaggle of men dying for my affection. The good Lord designed me in His wisdom to be a pale, average woman with a tummy and some hilarious dating experiences and that’s okay with me because I’m learning to be who the Lord created me to be, inside and out. In the modern age of filters and Photoshop, don’t chase a silly ideal that doesn’t exist.
I’ve also had to learn to trust the timing of the Lord and not force things. Isaiah 60:22 is a beautiful reminder that God has got you but not necessarily in the timeframe you think or want. “At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” Even more important, don’t use this as a copout to do nothing. They Lord arranges your steps but He expects you to move your feet. So, as we move through this adventure of a year I have three suggestions...Be healthy! Be happy! Be you!