Book Review: “Outdated” by Jonathan “JP” Pokluda
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I know y’all are going to be shocked that I read another book on dating and relationships but I did. This book was actually one I had on my Amazon book list for ages but after listening to the “Looking for the Middle” podcast girls recommend it a million times I knew I had to give it a shot. They were right. It’s good and a quick read because you won’t want to put it down.
JP deals directly with what any single in their late twenties or early thirties can tell you. Modern dating is messed up and miserable. It’s not fun. It’s confusing and pressure filled and that is no different inside the church. JP argues that if we did it correctly these things would mostly fall away because God never intended relationships to work this way.
If I told you that this book provided brand new, never before concepts, it’d be a lie. It deals with 12 of the common lies we have believed in our culture and even in the church. These are not new problems but the way JP lays them out with his testimony is clear, concise and actually comforting. It’s nice to hear that I’m not the only one finding dating not fun and hard.
The book is broken down into three sections. Why We Date, Who We Date and How We Date and let me tell you that it is very countercultural. He has the belief, and rightly so, that love is “something you do, not something that happens to you.” My mentor always said love is a choice which is why basing your relationships on feelings is a poor foundation.
Ultimately, JP’s advice boils down to a godly, single man looking around and finding the most godly, single woman he knows and asking her out. If she says yes, use date one to determine if there should be a date two. If you’re a godly, single woman and you are asked out by a godly, single man say yes, and determine if there should be a date two. Continue this process until you find someone that you can choose to do life with forever. That’s a lot more simplistic than we’ve made it but it also requires letting go of the cultural idea of dating and holding tight to God’s design.
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