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My Mythicality: Conduct a Weird Experiment

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(This is a continuation of the Book of Mythicality Series.)

I know this is going to come as a shock to many of you but I was a bit of a strange child and curiosity was a huge part of my make up which has definitely not changed as attested to by my “Bailey Tries…” and “Mystery Meals” series here on Converse and Crowns. I hate that so many kids grow up thinking the acquisition of knowledge is boring and pointless. So much joy can be derived from trying new things, getting new experiences and answering the ever looming questions of “How?” and “Why?”. Our everyday life presents the opportunity to grow and learn even if in very trivial ways.

For example, as a child, I loved the Food Network and HGTV which led to many “experiments” in my little world. In the summer, I would mix up bizarre concoctions in the kitchen while my parents were at work which was quite a feat considering I wasn’t allowed to use knives or the oven. I remember going through recipe books trying to figure out how I could create something spectacular with the ingredients I had on hand and only a microwave as a “legal” heat source. (As much as my creativity wanted to invent, I couldn’t break the rules my parents had left me.) Most of these strange designs were only forced on myself or my poor brother when he was left in my care but every now and then my saint of a mother would have to endure what I came up with… like the time I made her breakfast in bed with ground coffee because I didn’t know there was as difference between grounds and instant. Bless her heart! She essentially had to use a spoon and chew a lot which was not nearly as relaxing as I had hoped but she never let me know how awful it was at the time. What a mom!

Of course, my disasters were not limited to the kitchen as I was also a HUGE fan of infomercials at a very young age. (Shocker, that I went into marketing.) I would dream up my own commercials concocting a mess of products in the bathroom that if I remember correctly, generally involved a luxury “carpet cleaner” made of various shampoos, body washes and more ceremoniously demonstrated on the bath mats to my captivated audience in the mirror. I’m shocked that the washer didn’t overflow with suds every time Mother washed those things! HGTV also got my wheels a-spinning and in the era of “Trading Spaces”, how could I not rearrange my bedroom every other weekend? This included creating visual merchandising displays with weird Victorian-esque frames, pictures and books. Like I said, I was an odd little duck.

I think my favorite example of my ideas backfiring has to come from the time I wanted to make my new sibling a Christmas display. My mother was pregnant with my brother which means I must have been around five years old and I desperately wanted to create a lifesize, in my mind, reindeer out of the empty wrapping paper rolls we had. I vividly remember my plan and I know I ran part of this by my mother but I definitely left out the part where I decided that my little Fiskars weren’t going to cut it, literally, so I need to use some REAL scissors. I made two fatal flaws here. First, I took scissors that I knew I wasn’t meant to be using and second, they were my mother’s sewing scissors and I was about to cut cardboard with them. Cringe, I know! I would have gotten away with my plan had I not left them open on the floor. I rolled over to grab something and they went through my leg. My kindergarten self was positive that I was going to die and that it was a fitting punishment for my crime. Luckily, I was only left with a small scar and a funny story that is very fitting for my nature. (Most of my scars are from craft projects. What can I say? Glue guns are dangerous.)

In the end, I think my silly little experimental projects as a kid helped give me the problem solving skills I have today. The trivial skills that won’t save the world but allow me to create school play costumes out of old kitchen drapes and Relay for Life backdrops out of tissue paper. I’m glad to say that I still have moments of opening the cabinet to see what ingredients I can use to make a masterpiece and I still rearrange my rooms in the hopes of channelling my inner Laurie or Vern. Discovery and the search for knowledge should be exciting and somewhat challenging and in my humble opinion, should never end.


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