Life Lessons: Tears (Hannah)

Reading: 1 Samuel 1:1-16

Has your heart ever wanted something so desperately that it ached? Like, it physically pained you when you were reminded of what you lacked? Babies, husbands, jobs, dreams, healings. Very few of us will get through life without desperately desiring something we don’t have and I find that often these are things that we have no control over. First Samuel opens with a man and his two wives. One, Penniah, has children and the other, Hannah, does not. Not only is Hannah childless but Penniah is hateful about it. Have you been there? Maybe intentionally or not, people seem to always trod on the tender parts of your heart. It can seem unbearable. 

The Bible tells us several things about Hannah that I think are important to her story and ours. First, we know that Hannah is upset by her unmet desire and her living situation but we also know that her husband loves her. We know that Hannah brings her aching heart to the Lord each year when they go to make sacrifices and we know that she would weep before the Lord because of her unmet desire. Though her husband tried, he couldn’t comfort her and it’s during one of these intimate moments before the Lord that something unusual happens. 

We are told that Hannah is crying and places her request before God while asking God to not forget her. Do you ever feel like you’ve been forgotten because the Lord seems silent or inactive? I think we all have but that is what makes her story so important. It shows that God is working in the “in between” moments even if we can’t see Him. During this fervent prayer she makes a promise to dedicate her son to the Lord if only He would give her one. 

Be honest, have you ever made promises during trying times  in a desperate attempt to sway the Lord? Yep, met too but I don’t think that’s what this was because we can see too much of Hannah’s heart and faith. I think she was sincere in her offering just as she was sincerely asking her Father for this desire. We know Hannah ultimately receives her answer but don’t mistake that for a fasttrack way to God’s blessings. God can’t be manipulated and thank goodness!

As Hannah prayed, the priest, Eli, saw her in a state of deep prayer with lips moving and he believed she was drunk. He confronted her about his suspicions only to find that she was a woman distraught, pouring her heart out to God. Can you think of a time where you were so desperate in your pleadings with the Lord that someone may think you are crazy? Sometimes people think we’re crazy for even continuing to pray with no answer because it would be if we weren’t talking about God. 

Much like Hannah, there’s a prayer I have laid at the feet of the Lord for the last 19 years… sometimes humbly, sometimes in doubt, sometimes with expectation and sometimes in tears. If I’m honest, had I known at 19 that I’d have this many prayers ahead of me I’m not sure I would have signed up back then.  You may even think I’m crazy for two decades worth of asking but in that time I’ve gotten many answers, some I’ve liked, others have given me pain but my continued prayers are not based on what answers I have or have not received. This isn’t Amazon not fulfilling my order. This is a conversation with my Father about my life, hopes and dreams.  

Ultimately, the only concern of our hearts should be how we are before the Lord. I think it’s often these moments of anguish and uncertainty that lead us to a place of eventual vulnerability before the Lord. When we reach the point of desperately clinging to the feet of Jesus we don’t seem to care so much about what others think of us and that can be a great moment of growing your faith… and who knows? Maybe 19 years is exactly God’s timeframe…

Today’s Prayer

Father, You know what is burdening my heart. Please hear my cries and give me direction. I want what You desire for my life but I also struggle to let go. Thank you for hearing my prayers and for never tiring of listening to my requests.