A Cheerful Heart

Recently I was participating in a medical class where I was the subject matter due to my interesting health challenges. I was excited to participate because these medical students were learning to go beyond a textbook diagnosis and look at the person as a whole. Even with all the discussions I have with my own care team, I rarely discuss all my issues at once but, since they were practicing the diagnostics side of things, they were asking all the questions. After the class one of the professors approached me and made a comment about what a great attitude I had all things considered. I couldn't help but laugh. "That's God", I said, and I knew it was true.

Honestly, that comment immediately made me reflect on how no one would have said that about me ten years ago. And yet, ten years ago I was considered healthy, I had a lot of good things in my life that I have since lost, on paper I looked happier then. Now, from the outside, things look like they have gone downhill and from a worldly perspective, I guess they have, but I don't have a worldly perspective. Or at least I try not to have one but rather I try to live with a Kingdom perspective. You know what I mean, right? I want the type of life that tries to remember the empty tomb and its power, even when walking through the grocery store.

My conversation that day reminded me of the beginning of Proverbs 17:22, "A cheerful heart is good medicine..." and we know that is true but our hearts can't do it alone. We can't "create" the medicine but we can surely make decisions to throw it away. I wasn't being flippant by saying that my attitude came from God, well, at least my good attitude. The peace and freedom that comes from knowing who I am in Christ and what that means for my life, as a whole, changed how I view the good and bad moments. And praise the Lord for that because there was a time when my life was a chaotic mix of anxiety, perfectionism, discontentment and heartache. Now my life is colored by peace, contentment, hope and excitement.

Have I stopped feeling anxious 100% of the time? No. Am I blissfully happy everyday? Absolutely not. Are there no longer moments that grieve my heart? What do you think? Life is hard in a broken world with broken bodies and broken minds. This is why the Father provides mercy and grace beyond measure but freedom and peace can be found in Him as well. It's not a quick fix or magic spell like I would have liked a decade ago. No, true peace comes from consistent growth with the Lord and learning to trust His heart. I promise nothing but that could create peace in unbelievable, uncontrollable circumstances of life. I'm so glad that medicine is free!