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Book Review: “If Only He Knew” by Gary Smalley


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You might be wondering why I would read a book specifically for men, husbands actually, but if you were here about two years ago then you might remember me reading a book called “For Men Only”. I originally decided to read that book because it was supposed to tell men the top ways women confuse them and I thought, “I can easily tell you what confuses men about women. Let me see if I’m correct.” I was right, however, I grossly overestimated my ability to determine WHY these facts confused men and in that lies the secret of MANY of the heartaches in relationships so when I found out a book I read (and reviewed) earlier, “For Better or For Best”, had a companion for husbands, I knew I had to find it.


It never ceases to amaze me how creative God was in His design of man and woman and how beautifully they can fit together like a handcrafted puzzle. It also never ceases to amaze me how overwhelmingly different we can be… like mind bogglingly so! This fact alone spurs me on to better understand the lovely, endearing and absolutely mystifying men in my life. I would hope that we can all agree that we want our relationships to flourish if at all possible, so why wouldn’t we work towards that? Even if the good Lord chooses for me to never marry, understanding my father, brother, nephew, friends and coworkers can only better those relationships as well.


Unlike the last “man book” I read, this one was incredibly similar to the lady’s version which makes sense when you consider that it was meant to be read by a couple, together. Having them receive similar information and stories but in their “language” would be very beneficial. Much like its companion, this focuses a large portion on how communication, or lack thereof, can contribute to a loss of love and heartache. I found it fascinating to hear the same information explained to the guys and I must say, it reinforces the chasm between our communication styles. Smalley pretty much has the same overarching message in this book which is if a wife focuses on the choice of loving her husband to the best of her ability and doing what’s best for him and if a husband does the exact same, neither will be without. Does that mean hard times and hurt feelings won’t come? Of course not! We’re sinful, fallen creatures but it can cut down on the territory that the Enemy has a hold of which means you can better fulfill your purposes, individually and as a couple.


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